I wrote this song during a time when I was feeling particularly done with Winter. I usually get a bit of seasonal depression midway through winter. The super short days, when it get’s dark by 5pm (and 8pm feels like midnight), leave me constantly tired. My head goes into kind of a winter fog that makes it hard to focus…so I don’t accomplish much.
Which is OK! I think partly our bodies are meant to follow the seasons and winter takes us into a season of rest. Perhaps it would be better to embrace it than fight against it. But the longing for beauty and renewal is also built into us, and that longing can amplify the emptiness of winter making it feel as if it will never end.
But it always does.
Every year, a day comes when the chill in the air softens, the sun reappears, days get longer, grass begins to green, and new little shoots of plant-life pop out everywhere. Just typing that makes me sigh with longing!
And then there’s the connection between the season of winter and the metaphorical “winters” of life we experience; loss of loved ones, being turned down for that job you really wanted, an unfortunate diagnosis, and all the big and little changes that happen as we struggle through life. These are all winters of a sort.
And just as we see new life always being born from the death of winter, we can trust that something new is being born in us when are struggling through these difficult times.
That doesn’t make it easy…or less painful…but the hope can help us hold on when we feel like we just can’t take anymore.
Jesus communicated this truth in John 12:24, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
And of course He lived this out to the fullest and most literal extent, by suffering the darkness and death of the cross…then raising to life again as something much more beautiful. If he hadn’t gone through the darkness, we wouldn’t have this beautiful reconnection with God that was made possible by His sacrifice. It’s almost as if a light was born through the darkness. Which is the opposite of the way we tend to think. Perhaps our “winters” are really the birth pains of something new and beautiful.
The second thing I wanted to communicate in this song is our need for community within our “winters”. Thant’s why the lyrics read as if I’m talking to, and commiserating with, a friend who is struggling. I’m trying to say, “I understand…I’m struggling too…let’s sit here and wait it out together”.
Having and/or being a friend like this is so so so vital, and yet so so so forgotten in our society. We tend to think we have to fix things, and this is not about fixing things. This is about just being with another person through their struggle. The mere presence of another human willing to just sit with you can be a light born from the darkness.
This is what I mean by the line: “It’s all a little clearer when you see it with a friend”. I don’t mean the friend fixes you with some astounding wisdom and answers all your questions. I mean their willingness to sit with you in the darkness can make it a little more tolerable…and maybe a little less dark. Community breeds hope.
So, whatever winter you are struggling through right now…my hope is that this song can give you a bit of comfort and a feeling that someone “gets” you and is sitting with you through it. And of course we mustn’t forget that Jesus also “gets” you because He experienced great darkness, fear, sadness, and all of it throughout His life on earth. He very much wants to sit with you through it.
Question: Who can you be this kind of friend with? Is there someone who you can communicate your darkness to who will just sit with you in it and vice versa?
Meditation practice: Jesus wants to sit and wait with you through your winter. Spend some time in quiet centering prayer (Even if it’s just a few minutes). Breath deep and relax. Make yourself open to the presence of Jesus spirit in you, and simply spend time being with Him. Practice this 2 or 3 times a day to stay connected to His presence throughout your day.
Prayer:
Jesus, I trust that You are making something new in me. But the waiting is hard and painful. Help me to let go of whatever it is I need to let go of, and rest in Your presence, knowing that I’m not alone, and Spring is coming. Amen.
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